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Thieves, Hollister, Quitting, Costner, Seatbelts and Tongues

Author

Luke
July 07, 2023

Welcome back to Monkey Business. The newsletter that takes longer to put together each week, but never improves in quality… Let’s jump in

Actually I think it was Tide based on the video. Regardless, King Sooper employee Santino Burrola was fired this week for video recording three thieves who were stealing a cart filled with $500 worth of laundry detergent. His video was instrumental in nabbing the Thief Executive Officer of this disorganized crime. The two accomplices, known only as Robert and Bugsy, are still at large and presumably smelling great.

A GoFund me was created for Santino and has already raised $12,000 to cover his expenses while he searches for a new job. Many consumers were outraged at King Sooper's response and pointed to Lululemon's recent, similarly poor response to in-store theft.

Director and Deep Sea Explorer James Cameron is listing for sale a beautiful, oceanfront home on 100 acres that is part of the prestigious Hollister ranch development on California's central coast. Beach access is only permitted to members of Hollister Ranch. The residents of Hollister Ranch argue that putting in roads and access to the public would negatively affect the coastline. James agrees saying he's an "old school property rights guy".

His reason for selling? To reduce his carbon footprint… and spend more times at his other properties, which include 5,000 acres in New Zealand, 10,000 acres in Saskatchewan, his home in LA that is close to his studio in Manhattan Beach, his residence in Austin Texas and his Ski home in Crested Butte Colorado. For a guy that's concerned about his carbon footprint he sure has a lot of properties

For those not in the know, quiet quitting is doing the absolute bare minimum at your job till they finally realize how lazy you are and are forced to fire you and give you severance. Loud quitting is vocally opposing leaders at work and doing whatever you choose until the company is similarly forced to part ways with you due to insubordination.

All that being said, the US Labor Market reported this week that the number of people "voluntarily leaving" AKA quitting has returned to pre-pandemic levels; a sign the economy is softening.

Actor Kevin Costner and his estranged wife are at odds over a child support request of $248K per month for his three children. Kevin argued that losing his job (I'd categorize his job loss as "loud quitting") on the hit show Yellowstone means he can no longer afford such a large monthly bill without liquidating assets.

Before you start a GoFund me for Kevin you should be aware that he is worth approximately $400M. So he'd be able to afford the child support bill for 134 years before he's actually out of money.

TIL- Seatbelts and Tennis

Princess Diana Was Still Alive Hours Before She Died?

Princess Diana didn't initially die at the scene of her car accident, but 5 hours later due to a tear in her heart's pulmonary vein. She would've had 80% chance of survival if she had been wearing her seat belt. This discovery led to this infamously confusing headline:

In fact a study of seat belt use rate as of 2022 shows that 92% of individuals wear a seat belt when in a vehicle. The 8% of passengers who don’t wear a seat belt account for 50% of all vehicle deaths. So kids, buckle up!

Andre Agassi won 10 of 11 matches after seeing a "tick" in Boris Becker's serve. Agassi could predict where Becker was serving based on whether Becker stuck his tongue out in the middle of his lip or to the left corner of his lip. Agassi finally revealed his insight to Becker years after they had retired.

Boris said it always felt like Andre could read his mind. Andre said the hardest part was not overplaying his inside information. He would only take advantage of this trick when he needed the most critical points